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Life suxx... [May. 2nd, 2008|01:26 am]
[Current Location |la la la]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |who knew -pink]

My life is such a mess, i swear nothing seems to be getting better...
im trying to be happy but it doesnt seem to be working.
I'm sooo fucked up. I just can't feel happy anymore... and its my 21st bday in like 2 weeks... andi dont even have a job which makes things worse... Livin w/my friggun dad hasn't gotten like any better and i can see things wont change... and Uni/college well i think thats fucked up cause it looks like i'm goin to school in London which means livin at 'home' still w/my friggun dad n its like way to expensive to move out to dorms for London. College is so much work at the moment ,i jus can't wait till its all over even though to be honest but i know i will miss it...like the people and my lecturers and stuff and the place.
I also miss livin w/my mom even though we used to argue and it didn't go to well like last year...but atleast i had a nice house and my dogs and stuff,also when i lived w/my mom i had more space,i would live w/her but like theres nothing for me where she lives and its like wicked far away from my friends...I don't have that anymore...i jus have some crappy place w/my dad n no dogs or anything.
I just need things to change...
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2008 is here! [Jan. 9th, 2008|08:58 pm]
[mood |happyhappy]
[music |Sonic boom six]

Wow so 2008 is here... I can't believe 2007 is finallie over...it was a weird year to be honest ,it had its ups and downs...The first like six or seven months were good i guess...but then i would say it went a lil downhill from there...which i hope changes in 08 and during the past month and the start of '08 has been good anyway.
2007 was a year of:

. Friendships - some becoming alot stronger ,definetly... you know who you are ,i and i hope it stays that way!
. Studying hard(haha)
. Going to gigs( less than jake wuz one of the top gigs of the year ,not to forget Readin Fest 07, cant wait for this years!!!)
. Was a year of fun, Partying , clubbing ,pubbing,u name it!
Hopefullie more to come in 2008!
NYE(new years eve) was prettie good. I hung out with like a whole bunch of friends, Marianna, Alex,Charles,Bekki,Laura ,Georgie and quite a few others:) we had drinks at charles place then headed to London and ended up in Covent Garden ,we didn't get to see much of the fireworks from Covent Garden bit it was alright... ended up doin like an all nighter lol went back 2 charles place and had more drinks at like 5am lol,then i headed home at like 9am so new years day was sorta boring.

But anyway I'm going to try and put the bad past times of 2007 away and make a better start for 2008.
Thinking on the bright side i am goin to two gigs this month.
The Super Nashwan kids( hopefullie takin Maz)
Linkin Park!!!
College is so much stress i swear...i dont know what to do anymore,i swear i'm failing lol ive got like four months left to pass,argh!!!
anyway i'm goin for now ,i'll write more later..
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update! [Nov. 5th, 2007|12:05 am]
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |blahblah]
[music | this is the last show - reel big fish]

so I havent updated this thing in like ages... So i thought i would and i just need to write things down...so here goes...
So alot of shit has been goin on...
College is so much work and stuff at the moment...i swear...This year is like the hardest yr ever... and i hafta decide about University and stuff... which is like the hardest decision ive ever had to make i swear... Its like i dont know if i want to do media production or video editing...or something else,I mean whut if i go on the wrong course? Also i never reallie saw myself going to University but now its sort of changed my mind. Even though i'm not smart enough haha...
Anyway this weekend was alright and it started off like this
-Friday night - Jenny and I started off at the goose pub in Enfield and then we made our way to North Finchley and went to weatherspoons with Alana,Shander, Sunny ,Robert and their 2 friends.We all got like so drunk...w hich was alright cause i hadnt had such a good night in like ages...
- Saturday Night- I went up to the Ali Pali for the fireworks with Emma,Jenny,Alana,Lavininia, Johnny and like a few others... Then we made our way back up to Weatherspoons in North Finchley... Where we met up with Esther,Charlotte, Sam , Kay(his new gf) Shander and like a few others i didnt reallie know...Once againn i got soooo wasted haha...
Sunday i did like nothing,i had like the biggest hangova...lol
So yea this weekend wuz alright... apartt from a few things that happened today... so to be honest at the moment i feel like complete shit n cant stop crying...
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Update! [Mar. 20th, 2007|06:53 pm]
Hey guys
havent updated in a while...how r u all doin?I'm ok... things are alright...and well College i have so much work...its ridicolous,well not reallie but hey...lets jus hope i dnt fail the course othawise i'll be fucked off...lol!Anyway havent been doin much jus the usual pubbin,hangin out w/friends,gettin drunk n college. Well last weekend we all went to the usual Jolly anglers pub then to Nelsons aftawards and i got prettie drunk...lol n i got carried around by Lauren...lol And on Saturday night night we all went to a small gig in Kentish town then we went to silver at Underworld clubbin n i got home at like 5...it wuz prettie fun...
I also dyed my hair like reddish well like watermelon red...

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theres not much else to say
so Peace out XxX
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Heyhey [Jan. 8th, 2007|07:10 pm]
Well I'm back to College now
I have so much coursework to do-it's all piling up,argh!What am i meant to do? I reallie think i'm goin to fail,argh.
Anyway I hope college will actuallie be better this term... I hope people change &people can be on better terms with each other...
Anyway christmas break was like reallie good and new years was one of the best ever!I can't believe it's 2007.
Anyway i'm off
Philly XxX
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2006 is over...and 2007 is here!Philly is happie at the moment... [Jan. 2nd, 2007|01:14 am]
[mood |happyhappy]
[music |Iris- Goo goo dolls]

So i can't believe 2006 is over...and 2007 is over!Well i guess 2006 was prettie good but sum shittie times though,which i hope will change.... and new yrs eve 06 was like reallie awesome... it wuz jus good..i only like went to sams party then to pauls brothers... but like it wasnt that special but it wuz jus awesome cause i chilled w/awesome ppl...So yea Lauren,Mark,Mini man ,Paul ,a couple of their friends and i all went to Sams hhouse,then we headed to Pauls brothers house which was prettie good...his house wuz like wicked rich i swear.... n i got mad drunk which was fun! didnt haveany sleep at all...stilll havent...lol but todayw as prettie good,Lauren,Paul,Mike,Mark and I all went for a chinese buffeft in Borehamwood,then we headed for mini golf in Bushey which wuz prettie good ,then we went back to Pauls and jus chilled at for a bit and then went back to my place to watch a movie and shit ,so was all good. 'Reeker ' was a prettie shit n weird movie but oh well,still was fun.
So yea new years eve and new years day this year round ,was reallie awesome, it was better than last year to be honest... because like i wuz w/awesome people this year n stuff n idk
but anyway imn out,shall update more later
HAppie 2007!Philly XxX
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(no subject) [Dec. 31st, 2006|07:25 pm]
So yea i havent updated this thing in like a wicked long time...so yea im guna be updating this thing more ..anwyay...It's finallie new years eve of 06!lol things have changed so much..i swear... anyway i guess this year was good but like only sum parts were good n then the other times things had changed n werent so good n i wasnt myself which im still not ,like latelie ive been like reallie upset n i dont know why...well i do kind of but yea...so anywya im basicallie sayin the last entrie...but im off have a good new year ppl
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(no subject) [Apr. 2nd, 2006|10:01 pm]
1 week left of school/c.college,then easter break,oh the joy,2 weeks baby!
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(no subject) [Apr. 1st, 2006|06:51 pm]
So i thought i'd update... havent in a while.. So alot of fuckin shit has been happening, alot of fuckin shit... Me and Martin are ova ,as i said in a few entries back... well its all pissing me off super bad and everyone is bein immature about it,everyone is fightin,urghhhh ,i jus wish it could stop , i havent even freakin contacted Martin ,yet i get the blame... i know for a fact i havent ..anyway obviouslie me n him arent even friends,maybe we could be some dayin the future but prollie not..
ah well im out .X.xX
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(no subject) [Mar. 1st, 2006|03:52 pm]
haha no i wont date yew, n stop askin 4 the 1 thing... n stop talkin 2 me in college..yew make me look stewpid...
go away!
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(no subject) [Feb. 27th, 2006|10:55 pm]
Why is it that guys are now talking to me now that i'm single?i dont want a relationship with those guys ... well one of thems nice,but i dont reallie like anyone else...but i'd luv to be good friends w/that guy...
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(no subject) [Feb. 27th, 2006|08:00 pm]
So i've come to conclusion i reallie hate college or atleast my college... it's so unorganised and shit and the classes get me nowhere...people in my class reallie piss me off by not coming in and shit. well Hopefullie i'm switchin college nxt yr to Barnet so yea...
I met someone new in college so thats good ,thisgoth,lol
well i'll write more lata
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(no subject) [Feb. 26th, 2006|05:30 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |Blink 182]

I'm trying very hard to stay in a good mood today... but it's not working well.
got about 4 hours of sleep last night because of i couldnt sleep cause im so screwed up n sick of being alone ,i cant take it,i just cry all the time,i'm so stupid ,WHUT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?
so i'm tired, hot, sick, dissapointed, bored, lonely, and i feel like crying. errrr I just wanted today to be a good day.
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i'm such a mess [Feb. 25th, 2006|08:51 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]

I'm such an emotional mess
I look like shit
i'm a mess... a freakin mess.
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(no subject) [Feb. 25th, 2006|08:39 pm]
[mood |confusedconfused]

Well this week needs to be over.its been like totallie shit.
Martin n I have been fighting like all week n its like totallie horrible.i can't take it anymore,i want him so much,but we jus hurt each other.its so messed up.i'm a complete emotional mess today,i reallie am.i cant get over him and now i cant be with him n its jus gona hurt forever. I just wish i could be with him.i jus wish he knew,ah.
i alreadie miss him so much.ah
I jus wish we cud fix things now.
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This song makes me cry... i want to last with someone [Feb. 25th, 2006|08:26 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |Nothings gona stop us now]

"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" The Starting Line

Looking in your eyes, I see a paradise.
This world that I found is too good to be true.
Standing here beside you, I want so much to give you this love in my heart that im feeling for you
Let them say we're crazy.
I don't care about that.
Put your hand in my hand, baby, don't ever look back.
Let the world around us just fall apart.
Maybe we can make it if we're heart to heart.
And we can build this thing together, stand in stone forever, nothing's gonna stop us now.
And if this world runs out of lovers we'll still have eachother.
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now.
I'm so glad I found you, I'm not gonna lose you, whatever it takes to stay here with you.
Take it too the good times, see it through the bad times.
Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do.
Let them say we're crazy.
What do they know?
Put your arms around me, baby, don't ever let go.
Let the world around us just fall apart.
Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart.
Oh, all that I need is you.
All that I ever need.
All that I want to do is hold you forever, forever and ever.

And we can build this thing together, stand in stone forever, nothing's gonna stop us now.
And if this world runs out of lovers we'll still have eachother.
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now.

And we can build this thing together, stand in stone forever, nothing's gonna stop us now.
And if this world runs out of lovers we'll still have eachother.
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now.
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x's whut i done... [Feb. 2nd, 2006|01:02 am]
woo hooo
1.smoked a cigarette- x

2.smoked a cigar

3.made out with a member of the same sex -x

4.crashed a friend's car

5.stolen a car

6.been in love -x

7.been dumped -x


9.been fired

10.been in a fist fight

11.snuck out of your house -x

12.had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back -x

13.been arrested

14.made out with a stranger-x

15.gone on a blind date -x

16.lied to a friend -x

17.had a crush on a teacher

18.skipped school -x

19.slept with a co-worker

20.seen someone die

21.been on a plane -x

22.thrown up in a bar-x

23.taken painkillers

24.love someone or miss someone right now -x

25.laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by -x

26.made a snow angel

27.played dress up

28.cheated while playing a game -x

29.been lonely -x

30.fallen asleep at work/school -x

31.used a fake id

32.felt an earthquake

33.touched a snake

34.ran a red light

35.been suspended from school

36.had detention -x

37.been in a car

38.hated the way you look -x(allthe freakin time)

39.witnessed a crime -x

40.pole danced

41.been lost -x

42.been to the opposite side of the country -x

43.felt like dying -x

44.cried yourself to sleep -x

45.played cops and robbers

46.sang karaoke

47.done something you told yourself you wouldn't -x

48.laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose -x

49.caught a snowflake on your tongue-x

50.kissed in the rain -x

51.sing in the shower -x

52.made love in a park on the slide. omg..... i didn't think this would every be in something like that

53.had a dream that you married someone -x

54. glued your hand to something

55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole

56.worn the opposite 's clothes -x

57.been an asshole -x

58. sat on a roof top -x

59. didn't take a shower for a week-x

60.ever too scared to watch scary movies alone

61.played chicken

62.been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on -x

63.been told you're hot by a complete stranger -x

64.broken a bone

65.been easily amused -x

66.laugh so hard you cry -x

67.mooned/flashed someone -x

68.cheated on a test -x

69.forgotten someone's name -x

70.slept -x(wtf?)

71.gone skinny dipping in a pool

72.been kicked out of your house

73.blacked out from drinking -x

74.played a prank on someone -x

75.gone to a late night movie -x

76.made love to anything not human

77.failed a class -x

78.choked on something you're not supposed to eat

79.played an instrument for more than 10 hours

80.cheated on a gf/bf

81.ate a whole package of oreos

82.thrown strange objects

83.felt up someone -x

84.thought about running away -x

85.ran away

86.did it

87.had detention and not attend it -x

88.yelled at parents -x

89.made parent cry-x

90.cried over someone -x

91.owned more than 5 sharpies

92.dated more than 1 person at once

93.have a dog -x

94.have a cat -x(had 1)

95.own an instrument -x

96.been in a band -x

97.had more than 25 sodas in one day

98.broken a cd -x

99.shot a gun

100.been on myspace/livejournal for more than 5 hours -x
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(no subject) [Feb. 2nd, 2006|12:52 am]
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[music |Puddle of mudd]

havent wrote in this in a good while. nothing much has been happening around here. Just studying my ass off and hanging out with Martin...
Yesterday Martin n I hung out at his house for afew hours ,jus cuddled up n stuff:) n then we went to the movies to see Underworld Evolution. I thought it wuz a prettie good movie,apart from me being distracted by the rats...need i say more. Then after that he took me home.
Today i have college from like 9-5..which reallie sucks, hate the long day,it stresses me out so much.
Anyway thats all i reallie have to say.
Philly Xxx
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(no subject) [Jan. 31st, 2006|12:06 am]

being single on Valentine's Day sucks, has sucked and probably will always suck...

Thats a wicked old entry i found from last year... i'm thinkin it wont suck for me this year cause i'm not single:) ....
Sorrie that wuz wicked random.x
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(no subject) [Jan. 27th, 2006|02:24 am]
Hey Hey Hey
1. My name:
2. Where did we meet:
3. Take a stab at my middle name:
4. How long have you known me:
5. How well do you know me:
6. Do I smoke:
7. Do I believe in God:
8. When you first saw me, what was your impression:
9. My age:
10. My birthday:
11. Hair color:
12. Eye color:
13. Am I tall or short or average:
14. Do I have any siblings:
15. (opp. sex) Have you ever had a crush on me:
16. (same sex) Have you ever been jealous of me:
17. Who am I in love with:
18. What is one of my favorite things to do:
19. Do you remember one of the first things I said to you:
20. What`s your funniest memory of me:
21. What`s my favorite type of music:
22. What is my best feature:
23. What is my worst feature:
24. Do you look up or down on me:
25. Do you think I have morals and values:
26. Am I a leader or a follower:
27. Am I shy or outgoing:
28. Can you picture me dancing:
29. Can you picture me rolling(down a hill):
30. Would you say I am funny:
31. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules:
32. Do I have any special talents:
33. What's my best accomplishment:
34. Would you consider me a friend:
35. Would you call me preppy, slutty, a homie, average, sporty, punk,hippie,glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else:
36. Have you ever seen me cry:
37. If here was one good nickname for me, what would it be:
38. What is your favorite thing to do with me:
39. Would you ever make out with me{opp sex}:
40. Have I ever been there for you:
41. Am I fun to be with:
42. Am I smart:
43. Am I conservative or unconservative:
44. Do ya love me:
45. Name one way I have changed your life or made an impact:
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